Mother’s Day Triggers
Our culture just completed another Mother’s Day last weekend. As a former pastor, I knew that Mother’s Day was a holiday to handle with tender care. Some people don’t have a living mother. Some people don’t have a safe or loving mother. Some people can’t even become mothers. It’s a divisive day indeed. Back when I was pastoring, some sources even encouraged the church to leave that day alone lest some one be hurt.
It’s definitely tough to promote any generic events for the general population because one size does not fit all. I do not believe that we hold back on a celebrated holiday because some people are less fortunate to have the ideal mother or be a mother. That being said, I also believe we have to travel with compassion for those feeling left out on this day.
Perhaps one of the saddest types of Mother’s Days is when the children a mother has lovingly raised grow up to have their own families and become so focused on them, they neglect even a simple text to their mother or grandmother on Mother’s Day - forget about flowers or brunch.
Some mother’s in laws don’t see their daughter in laws as being the co-subjects of Mother’s Day and hold the day as matriarchs, period. Some grown women suffered so at the hands of their disjointed families of origin that they simply can’t do Mother’s Day. And the heart break of rainbow mothers or parents who have lost a child on Mother’s Day - ohhh how my heart breaks!
There are other women who love children just as if they were the biological mother. There are family members who have stepped up to raise nieces, nephews, sisters or brothers. And what about all of the step mothers who are not Cinderella’s step mother? There are plenty of loving others who also deserve to be honored for loving the children in their lives.
Who would think that a simple holiday could evoke so many considerations? Not anyone who has had the good fortune to have or be a healthy biological or adoptive mother or grandmother to healthy children.
IMHO, all women in a mothering role in families should be honored on Mother’s Day weekend. Share some time. It looks like our culture needs to catch up with who does the loving and nurturing and expand who shares this day and acknowledge their roles, too.
